Most of us know the voice — the one that picks apart everything you do, says you're not enough, that something is fundamentally wrong with you. We know the ache of shame that follows. And we know the thousand ways we try to escape it: overworking, avoiding, numbing, perfectionism, endless busyness. What most people don't realize is that these aren't separate struggles — they're three interlocking parts of a single self-reinforcing system called the Shame Triangle: the Inner Critic, Shame, and the Escapers. In this 90-minute keynote session, Jessica Fern and Dave Cooley guide participants through the Shame Triangle framework — where these parts come from, how they operate, and how to transform them into the Self-Love Triangle: the Inner Coach, Raw Experience, and Inner Nurturer. Drawing on Internal Family Systems (IFS), narrative therapy, and somatic practices, participants leave with both a clear map of their internal world and direct experience of what it feels like to lead from Self.
Transforming the Shame Triangle
Friday, August 21st
6:00 pm
Room: Mt. Elbert
Jessica Fern (She/Her) is an author and integrative therapist with over 25 years of experience supporting relational and personal transformation. Her work draws on conflict transformation, trauma therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic and narrative approaches, attachment theory, and spiritual and shamanic counseling traditions.
She is the internationally recognized author of Polysecure, Polywise, and her newest book, Transforming the Shame Triangle. Through her private practice and teaching, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and multi-partner relationships to help them move beyond reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment, and unresolved trauma—supporting greater self-leadership, emotional resilience, and intimacy in life and love. Learn more at JessicaFern.com.
David Cooley (He/Him) is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, and bilingual cultural broker. He is the creator of the Restorative Relationship Conversations model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. In his private practice, David specializes in working with non-monogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, incorporating a variety of modalities including trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative theory, and mindfulness-based techniques.